Friday, August 30, 2013

My birthday wish!

My birthday isn't until late November, but Lila and I already had a serious talk and I only asked for one thing for my birthday.
When Lila was born, she came out with a big open wound on her wrist. It looked like a very deep cut and her little right hand and fingers were really swollen.
No one knew what happened, and my Dr said in all the 20+ years he had been delivering babies, he had never seen anything like it.
She was protecting that little hand by pulling it away and always cradling it up by her face.
The night was born, and before I had even seen her while I was recovering, they had called in her pediatrician, a hand specialist, and a plastic surgeon to look at her sore and see what was wrong.
No one knew what had happened or what was wrong. They wrapped it up in a little cast-like bandage set up a few Dr appointments for us to go to.
The next couple of days while we were still in the hospital they taken her for blood work and Xrays and still no answers.
By the time we left, the swelling had gone down and we noticed that she didn't have any movement in her right hand.
The first couple of days home were extremely difficult for me.
When I would pick her up I wouldn't notice anything, but anytime anyone else would pick her up I would just start bawling uncontrollably and not be able to stop. When someone else would pick her up, I would see her poor little hand just dangle and not move. You have to pick it up and put it on her chest or it just hangs. This was devastating to me and all I could think about was all the things she wouldn't be able to do. I know that sounds really negative, but that's the truth and where my thoughts would go.
She wouldn't be able to crawl.
She wont be able to pull her self up.
What if kids make fun of her?- This one really got me.
We live in such a cruel world.
I lost lots and lots and lots of tears over this hand. The hardest part was having no answers.
Also as time went on and swelling went down we noticed a big mass in the same arm on the forearm.
Her first week home we had an appointment at Primary Childrens for an ultra sound. They looked at her entire arm, especially the mass, and her little hand.
I had cried the entire way there scared to death what they were going to say, but I wanted an answer.
They turned the lights back on in the room and the Dr looked at us and said, "I don't know what this is. I can tell you what it isn't, it isn't cancer".
He explained to us that there was blood flow to her hand and through her arm and that the muscles and tendons were all connected correctly.
He guessed the mass to be a "fatty necrosis" and that it could take years, but the body should naturally absorb it over time.
We went back to my parents house after the appointment and laid on their guest bed and I cried and cried while Russ took care of us.
That night on the drive back to our house I think I cried harder and longer than I have ever cried before. And then I saw Russ cry for the 4th time ever. Weirdly, it comforted me to see him cry too.
We had a few more Dr Appointments and few more feet pricks.
The only pictures I have of her going to the Dr are in the car seat. But she just looks so cute and tiny all buckled up!

Dang foot pricks! But she is growing and gaining weight!
FINALLY our appointment back at Primary Childrens with the hand specialist came.
We had to wait 2 weeks which was killing me, but everyone said we were lucky, that some people wait months to get in!
We really liked the Dr and he diagnosed her with Radial Nerve Palsy- HOPEFULLY a temporary paralysis of her right wrist.
He started off telling us this was a result of an Amniotic Band and in most cases results in amputation.
But then he said we were lucky and her hand was still alive. Why wouldn't you start out with that info!?! Instead we were thinking we were going to have to amputate her hand :(
Amniotic bands are fibrous string like bands in the womb that can wrap around the baby restricting blood flow. Fortunately, her band wasn't wrapped long enough or tight enough to kill the hand.
Limbs can either be amputated while still in the womb and the mothers body absorbs the limb, or the baby will come out with a dead limb that will need to be amputated.
The Dr told us to give it 3 months and see if she will get movement back. If nothing happens in 3 months, they will do some kind of therapy or splint and hopefully in time she will be able to use her hand.
Finally an answer. Although sad, I was happy to have an answer and hopeful she would get movement.
After her appointment, we had an hour before I had to go to the Dr for my check up. So we grabbed my favorite fast food- Chick Fil A, and went to the park for her first picnic.
This is kind of an awkward picture because I am midway through adjusting her, but we don't have a ton of pictures together so Im still posting it!

She seriously means the world to us.
Her sore is completely heeled and no more bandage!
Her skin is a little dry from being in a bandage for awhile, but we are crossing our fingers every single day that she will get movement in her hand.
I was working with her hand the other day while having our talk about my birthday wish and I realized that even if she doesn't get movement, I know she will easily adapt. She will figure out a way to crawl and pull herself up, and if people make fun of her, I know she will have a great attitude to only make her stronger.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

One Month Old!

This little baby is ONE MONTH OLD today!!
I cant believe it.
Its been so much fun seeing her change so much in this short time.

My sister and I took her to get her pictures taken when she was 3 weeks old.
She hated it. We had a one hour session and she cried 55 min of the hour.
We were supposed to get a ton of different settings and I was going to change her into all these cute outfits, instead, she was in her diaper with a bow that was too big on her head for all of them.
Oh well good thing she is SO dang cute!!

Happy one month!
The photographer asked if I wanted my pictures taken with her. I told him no since I wasn't planning on getting my pictures taken and my hair was in a wet bun.
But she cried on and on and on so I picked her up to help settle her down and he started snapping pictures of me holding her.
He folded her cute little arms over my shoulder..

And then he caught her smiling!!

Worth the whole hour we had to listen to her cry.
In these pictures, my sister would take out her binky and stroke her eyes all in a half a second and he would snap to make it look like she was sleeping!


I love her little feet. Her toes look just like Russ's.

You would never know by this peaceful flowery setting and what appears to be a sleeping baby.
Wrong, I think right after my sister pulled the bink and swiped her face..this was the most angry she became, but it looks peaceful right?!
Maybe when she is a little older, until then I will just look at that smiling picture over and over and over...worth it!

Monday, August 26, 2013

No sleep for you!

There hasn't been a ton of sleep going on around here.
Luckily, Russ was able to take a whole week, plus parts of the second week off.
Our animals, Ecko & Griffin have been staying at my parents house. Since we bought a new home, we don't have a yard..grass, fence etc for the animals so my parents have been kind enough to watch them for us.
Russ is currently, as I type, putting in a fence right now so hopefully they can come home soon!
My parents went up to Idaho the first week we were home to go up to my new nephew's blessing.
We moved over to my parents for a couple days so we could take care of our animals without going back and forth.
It was about the same time that the no sleep was catching up to us!
We were downstairs at my parents house and little Missy was WIDE AWAKE at 1:00 AM. It was the first time she was so alert and although I was very sleepy, I also loved it.
If you look closely in the back, Russ is passed out on the couch in the background.
1:00 AM
At 3:00 AM I decided maybe we should go up to my parents play room for the kids where we would be sleeping. I was changing her before I put her down to sleep and Russ came up to the bed and kneeled beside it...for 2 seconds until he slumped over and passed out.

3:00 AM
The next morning, Comcast was coming to our house a half an hour away to put in our cable and internet. Of course, they show up EARLY at 7:00 AM. That never happens.
Russ hurry and got up and told them he was on his way. I walked him out to the car and to let the dog out of her kennel. Griffin, our cat came to say hello to Russ. He bent over to pet her and the next thing I know, he sleeping on our driveway!

7:00 AM
I don't think there is ANY WAY to prepare yourself for the lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion you feel with a new baby and trying to figure everything out.
I also don't think anyone could prepare you for how much you instantly bond with your baby and how awesome it is.
Awesome, but tiring!
Later that day..

And for all those people who say, "Nap when she naps" how in the world? When else would I shower, do laundry, EAT?

She on the other hand...she sleeps great- during the day!
So call me maybe?

It doesn't matter how tight we can wrap this girl, she will find a way to get those arms out and up!
As soon as I get done nursing her and Im putting myself back together, she is OUT in the craziest positions.

We are loving her!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Deets

I cant believe our baby is 3 weeks old! Holy Cow..time flies when you don't sleep.
I wanted to write down the details of the day she was born. If you don't want to know, you may just want to scroll through the pretty pictures below :)
I was over due, and very ready to have this baby.
A couple days before on the 24th of July, Russ and my parents and I went to go get a huge spicy plate of Mexican food to put me into labor. That didn't work, but it was sure delicious.
My due date, the 25th came and went..and besides feeling very pregnant, I felt normal.
With each of my last Dr appointments, I wasn't progressing at all. My last Dr appointment was on my due date and he had scheduled me to go in the 31st to be induced.
On Saturday night, the 27th I was a couple days over due and Russ and I went down to my parents for a little walk down by the river so Russ and my dad could look at some deer down in the River bottoms. My mom and I walked Ecko while the boys looked through their binoculars at the deer.
The next morning, Sunday, we had planned as a family to go up to Brighton to hike around and look at the wild flowers for Wild Flower season.
I had set my alarm for 7:30 to meet my family up in the mountains a couple hours later.
I had to use the restroom at 7:25 (I hate waking up before my alarm goes off!). As I gracefully tried to get my overdue body out of our tall bed, I landed on the floor and Wala! My water broke!!
I looked at Russ in sheer horror and my legs crossed telling him my water just broke!
From that point on, it was nothing like the movies where they are rushing to get to the hospital.
I got in the shower, washed my hair and laughed my head off that my water broke. My Dr told me that not very many womens water breaks so I certainly hadn't planned on that.
Russ busted out the razor (a very rare occasion) and started shaving.
About a half an hour later, contractions started and I told Russ we should probably head that way since we had a half an hr drive!
I called my parents on the way to the hospital. They were just heading out the door to our hike. I told my dad I was sorry, and that I couldn't make the hike because I was on the way to the hospital to have a baby! My mom didn't believe me at first and then of course became so excited. Why she didn't believe me, seeing how I was 4 days over due is beyond me :)
We arrived at the hospital at 8:36 AM.
I got all set up in our room and started to really feel the contractions. They were definitely worse than I thought they would be and I hadn't even had them that long!
I got my epidural at 10:06. I was surprised how much that didn't hurt at all, and how the pain went away, yet I still felt them coming, it was weird.
For the next couple of hours, it was kind of peaceful and chill, hanging out the last few hours alone with my hubby.
Here he is, around 1:00 pm texting friends and family updates. Its probably more texting than the boy has done all year combined.
We were so excited in leaving our house for the hospital, we forgot the car seat :)
So my parents went down to our house to get the car seat and base and then came up to the hospital, along with Russ's parents.
It was fun hanging out with everyone and comforting.
At 6:00 PM on the dot, they had me start pushing. This was of course, when everyone, but Russ left the room.
We had it all planned out, that as soon as she was close to being here, Russ was going to text my sister and she was going to be by the door and as soon as she was born, she was come into the room and start taking pictures of everything!
Russ even had the text all typed up ready to send so all he had to do was push send when it was time.
I pushed for an hour...and they said she wasn't coming down enough.
Russ sent a text to our family members that I was going to push another hour.
I pushed another hour and same story.
They called my Dr and had him come in.
After 3 hours of pushing, they said she was sideways and stuck.
By this time, I was exhausted and ready for her to be here.
A girl I went to high school with, ended up being a nurse at our hospital. She came on shift and came in to our room to say hi. She said, "So you might have to have a C-Section huh?"
At this point I had no idea that was even a consideration, no one had said a word to either of us about that. I told her I didn't think so and she said maybe that was someone else, not me.
They got the vacuum out and still nothing. My Dr looked at me and said, "Im so sorry, but I am not going to put you or this baby at risk and force her out. We need to perform a C-Section".
Then he turned to everyone and said, "This baby needs to be out in 20 min" and everyone disappeared out of the room.
They immediately started dressing Russ in all the O.R garb and I started crying.
Between being exhausted and completely scared I couldn't control my emotions. I was so scared and had never even considered the thought of a C-section.
They told Russ to grab his camera which was out in the waiting room with my sister.
He came back crying, only like the 3rd time I have ever seen him cry and they wheeled me off.
After strapping me to the bed and numbing me up more, I immedietly started shaking out of control. I literally tried everything in my power and could not stop shaking. It was weird to see everyone hustling around strapping me to a bed and seeing my body shake.
My Dr is known to be not the most personable guy, but extremely good at what he does.
He was so kind, calm and sweet with me. He called me "Chels" which Ive never heard him say my name let alone shorten my name and it made me feel better almost instantly. He spoke to me so softly and encouraged me and I totally appreciated him and trusted him.
After feeling like 2 grown men were jumping on my stomach, she was born at 9:22 PM.
She wasn't breathing when she came out and I was so nervous that I hadn't heard her cry.
More and more time went by and still no cry.
At this point, they had heavily sedated me to control the shaking and I finally heard her cry.
I expected to the birth of my baby to be such a joyful, spiritual moment and it was down right scary and not what I expected.
I guess they brought her over to me for a quick look, but I was too drugged to remember. I don't remember seeing her at all.
They sent me to the recovery room, and sent her off to the nursery.
In the nursery they noticed something wrong with her hand.
That is a whole new blog post, but in there, they took over looking over her hand and tending to that.
Even thought it was so late, I was really happy our parents and my sister were there to be with her and Russ. Our parents first time meeting her.

While there were messing around with her hand, my big sister was there to comfort her.
She wasn't supposed to be in the nursery, only our parents, but she snuck in and stayed by her side while they had all types of Dr in there bugging her.
My Doctor who delivered her.

Russ was my rock through the whole thing and didn't leave her side after she was born.
He finally brought her into me when I started to wake up and I got to the be the first to hold her.
And there she is!
8 lb 6 oz
21 inches long.
We were in the hospital for 4 days.
Russ didn't leave my side for a second, but to go over to the cafeteria to get himself some food.
They kept taking her to the nursery or to get Xrays on her hand or blood work done and Russ wouldn't let her out of his sight. He would go with her everywhere they would take her.
One day, they took her to change her bandage on her hand like they did twice a day. Russ let her go and I was shocked he didn't go. They hadn't been out of the door for more than 20 seconds and he got up to go "Check on her".
I love how protective he is of his girls!
We had so much support at the hospital!
Thanks to everyone that came to visit!
My sisters kids I think were the very most excited for this baby to be born besides Russ and I.
They were so cute when they finally got to meet her!

My awesome Aunt and cousins came by and surprised us one night.
Russ's little brother and his new finace came up one night!
My amazing friends:


Her nanny came up to meet her for the first time and brought her a shirt that says
"My Nanny loves me"
The hospital staff was great.
On the last night of your stay they do a big nice dinner for you and baby daddy in your room.
I had salmon and Russ had steak.
Russ wanted me to note that he is wearing a blanket because he got hypothermia in the hospital room. I was still on my pregnancy thermostat and still hot so the poor guy froze over the 4 days.
This girl LOVES to stretch! Even in the hospital after I would feed her she just loved to lay on me and stretch!
Russ would have stayed in the hospital forever if we could. I was more than ready to go home and get light and fresh air.
Ready to go home!

Homeward Bound!